Diary of Blue Sky and Blue Ocean

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (2)

2011-01-19T08:23:00.002-07:00

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (2)

perumpamaan aku dan kau
adalah lautan dan langit
sama-sama luas
sama-sama biru
sama-sama bertabur rindu

jarak diantara kita begitu jauh
aku sibuk dengan riak dan gejolak
dan kau sibuk dengan awan gemawan
tapi birunya kita bertaut di batas cakrawala

hati kita bertaut dikesamaan rasa

adakah kata yang tepat untuk kita?
tentang aku dan kau
jika rindu selalu bicara
tapi batas diantara kita begitu nyata?

cinta bagiku ada,
begitu nyata...

(November 2003)

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (1)

2011-01-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (1)

kita bukanlah bibir pantai dengan ombaknya
yang hanya tahu bercumbu
berpeluk syahdu tak kenal masa

kita hanyalah kidung kesepian
kerinduan abadi sepasang kekasih
bumiku dan langitmu

tatapan mesra diantara kita begitu lekat
kau mewarnai lautan hatiku
dan kutaburi keluasan hatimu
yang kita punya warna yang sama
cinta yang biru...

yang kulihat dilangit hatimu
adalah desau kerinduan yg perih
tak terjangkau
tak terbasuhkan

tapi sebagaimana abadinya waktu
kita akan saling bersapa bertatap mesra
kau, aku, dengan bahasa rindu yang sama
yang cuma kita bisa mengenali
yang abadi...

oh, ya... itu yang terjadi!
karena cinta tak selamanya harus saling memiliki

(10 Nopember 2003)

JW Marriot

2011-01-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

JW Marriot

untuk AJM:

dan jalan-jalan itu menjadi kenangan
ketika aku belum lagi melewatinya
bersamamu

di tempat itu kisahmu tertuang
utuh dalam segenap ingatanku

jalan-jalan itu menjadi kenangan
ketika aku melewatinya dengan bisu
rindu menggayuti seluruh inderaku
kau ada disini!

(Januari 2004)
dari depan Hotel JW Marriot

blue ocean

satu rasa

2011-01-14T07:01:00.003-07:00

aku
kamu
satu dalam rasa
walau tak pernah terungkapkan
tak pernah terkatakan

JW Marriots
14 January 2010

rindu

2010-12-23T10:02:00.003-07:00

kekasihku lautan biru ..

tahukah kau disaat ku menatapmu dari awan yang biru sambil bersenandungkan rindu pada mu ...
rindu yang tak pernah lekang asa maupun waktu ..

rindu yang selalu hadir bak air ditepian laut birumu yang tak pernah surut ..

rindu yang tak mengenal batas bak awan gemawan dilangit biru tempatku berdiam ..

kekasih hati
rindu itu ada ..
rindu itu milikmu dan milikku ..
rindu itu selalu ada menghiasi hati kita
walau rindu itu tak pernah terkatakan
tak pernah terwujudkan

medio akhir desember 2003 - 2010

I miss U

2010-12-08T03:15:00.002-07:00

Dear Blue Sky,

Where are you?

I should say that I really miss you, today.

Missing you is just like I am missing my world.

It feels like I don't even exist now when I feel this way, while you're not around.

Its hard when I realize that I don't have a chance to have you.

Yes, we have each other virtually.

But some times, I do need you in reality.

I need the one with whom I can speak, sharing laugh, teasing each other, touching each other, etc. etc.

Blue,

You must be wondering why I'm acting this way all sudden.

Yes, I'm gonna admit this...

I've just broke up with some one!

Some one! You must know her. The one who came from my old time.

Last two days, we, to be precise she, had just admitted that she has no more feeling towards me. For that, for me its okay. But one thing that make me feel so hurt is the fact that actually I was clapping with one hand so long, when we were spending some times together. When we were sharing our togetherness, going out for dinner, walking side by side and so on. It all was just a one-way feeling.

She'd never loved me, I guess. While I was so fall in love with her (I love her since I was on senior high school). Damned! She was pretending! How blind I was, how stupid I am..!

Last two days we open everything.

We broke up! Or, to be precise, she broke me up!!

I said okay.

I thank her for telling me honest (but I didn't tell her how shock I am. Didn't tell her how she stub my heart and gave a deep wound. A very bad hurt!!!) .

We promise to keep our friendship. One thing I don't know for sure whether I can keep up my promise.

Blue,

I didn't know where I should go to share about this story.

I don't have any body to share such this thing. I don't have any one, but you.

I should release myself from this bad impact by disclosing what ever I feel right now.

I hope you don't mind having me sharing this here, in our horizon!

This is the only place I have, blue...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for visiting you not because we've been missing each other.

Sorry for turning my head on you when I am in misery because of being dumped!

I said her good bye and so long!

I hope, and I believe, that we'll never be united anymore.

I turn off all the story about her.

I feel so empty.

Can't feel nothing...

I wish I am not loosing my desire to write. I lost it once. Don't have any one to be my inspiration beside you are.

I really miss you, blue sky...

So much!

With love,

Blue Ocean

PS.

I tried to text you on 0818 15 something, but it ain't work no more.

Did you change your number?

to you ......

2010-10-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

i really miss you !!!!!

its always you

2010-09-18T22:57:00.002-07:00

you had me at " Hello"

tears

2010-09-18T20:36:00.005-07:00

dear blue ocean
i wish i could say whatever in my mind but i couldnt ...
i tried since couple weeks ago to write but everytime i hold my vaio tears drowning like stream so fast
arghhh wishin you here by my side ..

blue sky

The beauty of our relationship...

2010-09-01T06:59:00.002-07:00

Dear Blue,

the beauty of our relationship is we always try to make each other laughing. too bad I'm not a good one to make a good joke to make u laugh.. that's why I'm so happy if I hear you laughing. I'm not a good laughter either actually, but yess you always make me laugh.

the unique of our relationship is, yes we never had a time to see each other. and so many time we try to make us separate and say good bye. yet, we always come back. seems like we are bound.

I'm happy to hear the spirit in your message. That's all I care for you. I just want you to happy. Just think about the beauty of being life, never think about we're gonna die some day. It will come definitely at the end. But like you said, it is not important to talk about it. Thank God you have so many friends who give you attention that much. And I'm glad if you think that I am one of those who support you, the way I did... Let's live forever, and think only about how to fill our life with something good.

So many things I'd like to share with you, to make us be a better one every day.

Cheer up. Live it up. Never let the flame goes off, bcos life is too precious to be abandon, honey.

I'll be seing you, in our horizon. As usual, with lots of hug,,

-blue ocean

Have we been thru that long?

2010-09-01T01:26:00.003-07:00

Dear Blue,

I just read again our horizon after some times.

Did you notice that this horizon is already over 5 years exist? Never realize it, huh? Since the first time we wrote here on July 2005, we suppose to celebrate it last July 2010 when it reached to the 5th anniversary... Hmm, it actually already 8 years if we count when the first time we met at KG, remember?

Blue,

What happen between us?

When I decide to turn off my existence from your page, at the same time I lose contact from u. You seemed to be dissappeared..

Yesterday,

I went through my phone's address book to search some one's phone no... Flashly I read your name on it, and I was wondering where u are and how r u doing. Then half an hour later, I went to take pray Tarawih at the mosque in Bintaro sektor 1. Again I was wondering where you are, cos I know that you live near by.. there some where.

You know what?

This afternoon, you shock me up when all suddent I got your sms!

"Hai, blue how is life with you? I do hope life treat u well... I pray we could have the high blessing of Holy Ramadhan"

It happens again...!!

Every time I think of you, then we're connecting again..

Did you texted me that afternoon because you think about me? Did you feel anything last night?

Blue,

The reason I didn't text you for quite some time is because I dont want to disturb you. Since the last time I heard about you're getting married, I was so happy for that. Really am!! And I guess I better off of our horizon and your life as well, for some moment, to let you have your wonderful life,,

Thanks again for reminding me of the password so that I can post some thing again in this horizon, the place that we always longing for to meet.. to touch our soul.. to ease our thirsty.

Something I usually love to do.. express my feeling towards you

Just like what I am feeling right now, after some moments we turn our horizon off..

Glad to have you back,,, blue

-Blue ocean-

a thousand kiss, a dream land

2009-10-21T05:13:00.004-07:00

blue,

why everytime we share the moment
it always bring me to the dream land
the place where we can walk together
hand in hand
face to face
eyes by eyes
then the dream goes on
i just want to land a thousand kiss
in your lips

with my closing eyes

i am dreamin'

-blue ocean

de moment you and me

2009-10-20T23:46:00.004-07:00

when we together this afternoon ..
you share all your thought
your love ..
your dream ..
your caring ..
and your hope ...

also when the time became ours ...

Blue ...
Thank you for always made me laugh ..
Thank you !!!

BlueSky
21/10/09

unreachable :)

2009-10-19T10:35:00.007-07:00

blue

i wont be around for some moment.
i wanna prepare all de plan for 2010 for my own company ..
i couldnt be reach in reguler number but in others that you have
i cant update blog but available on facebook from some moment ..

Blue Sky

survival

2009-10-19T09:02:00.005-07:00

Hi Lief ..

I`m back now to homeland and recovery for new beginning..
Last week is quite hell for me ..
One of hardest in life, I almost give up ..
Lucky lotssssssssssssss of my lovely friends support me whole days n night to watch over.
Everytime i lost my desire to live and life they remind me the beautifull of life
The world will be uncomplete without me haha
They dont let me go easily to give up .. I`m so happy to have all my lovely friends around
in my hard days .. I wont be succed without them . Friends is big blessing from God in life.

After the accident last week when in Pondok Indah hospital couple times i got collaps . MD said i cried ,whispering a name. when i asked, he dont explained any details , just said i have the guardian angel . it repeated when Camden Hospital when some friends of mine stay over , they hear clearly that I said , "Let me go Rez, and why I have to stay ?"
i cried for quite long time till my friends very confused cos i look very suffering . they wondering what has happened, i just silent and dont say anything to my friends .

Today during the flight to jakarta between me n Tyo , one of friends analyze everything , continues until now, i dont want it happened again in the near future .we evaluated everything and review the goals in life. Suddenly Tyo said , MD is completely right that I have the guardian Angel. I `m starring at him confused , he explained , Only guardian angel take care of his friends with patience and persistence .. Angels dont give up for hoping you to get better even you already lost the faith and if aint guardian angel , he must be a person with a very good heart.
Tyo said I must be very lucky to have friends with an angel heart ...
During the flight he comfort me in many ways coz he knew i m nervous to goin back indo ..
Now tonight i type this while we chat ..Hmmm I guess he is so damn right .. I have a best friend with a very good heart. Lucky me ...
I pray and hope that person surrounded with good people too in his life :)

You know why i share this to you ?????????????
we never know who will beside us when the hard times come
we never know who sill support us too
who will stay beside us and give unlimited attention, care and love ..
i could survive in my hard times because of my very good friends ..
friends in real life and from someone in outside of the world that i never meet at all
we ever rare to talk over the phone but unbelieveable the feelings of our friendship ..
i never believe its happen if my good friends dont tell me directly ..
or if i dont get the experience by my own..

Honey ..
what we have is special and unique too
we cant be describe our relationship as well
but we knew that we care to one another more
we want the best thing in our life ..
what we have is undescribeable with words but we could feel in our heart..
years go by the feeling never change at all
no matter hundreds time we said goodbye but we always come here again and again :)

Last ..in this posting i wanna remind you ..
dont forget to pray for whatever happen in life
dont forget to remind Him and be thankfull to Him
ask His direction in life for you and protection for the family when you gone, with the new task from management, new responsibility and very hard barrier in field ,you should more closer with God.with the big problem you handle , please ask Him to guide you .

dah ya ngantuk ah.. jika ada tata bahasa salah benerin sendiri

mau bobo dulu apalagi tadi ditinggal "kekasihku" yang main zynga poker difacebook saat ku menulis ini buat dirimu :((

The Song`s

2009-10-16T22:13:00.003-07:00

I Have Nothing

(David Foster - Linda Thompson)

Share my life, take me for what I am
Cause I'll never change all my colours for you
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
(Your love I'll remember forever)

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me...
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you, you, you.

You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of you love
I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

Sin ` 17/10/09

demam

2009-10-16T22:05:00.005-07:00

blue

aku demam cukup tinggi
aku tahu harus minum obat
tahu banget
but this time i dont want too

blue

let me drowning in your blue sea ..
stay there forever

-blue sky

distance

2009-10-15T14:44:00.002-07:00

Blue ...

do you remember last night when de first time i answered de phone
there some text from 0816 ....with the love words but didnt remember whose number
actually i did know but i dont want to explaine to you
cos im shocked knowing i still saved text from someone in ancient time

de one who made you jealous from de day we met ..
i didnt expected read his sms ...
especially this very moment
when i needed someone by my side through my hard days ..
his text remind me de old good memories..

Blue,

actually last night when u wish there will be someone to take care of me and my answer i dont need it ..
i do realised it was not right at all ..
sometimes i want mc dreammy by my side like ilham company me in the old days .
pray day and night beside me
cooking and even decorate my room by his own hand ..
these very moment i remembered ilham so bad..
i wish i have someone like he used to take care of me until i got recovery again.
but now .. no more ilham by my side
no more q as well to company me with politic discussion ..
no more all de loving people around me ..

deep down in my heart i want them back !!!
i want to share about my fearness
i want to share every progress
but now ...
i cant..
even i have some best friends but i cant share de fearness w them
the feeling is different...
there some moment i tried to share with mr robotto but ended with he created the distance :(

Thanks God

2009-10-14T12:00:00.007-07:00

Lief ...
never expected we could talk over the phone again
im speechless when you called me
that is de reason i hang up at de first time
haha
sorry ..
i need time to realised its you ...
always, time flies so fast when we talk over the phone

im glad we could laugh again like the old days ..
you always know how to bring de smile in me ..
having you by my side again made this world starting colourfull ...

Lief ...
do you remembered how many times we said goodbye but time driven us together again in our horizon ..
same as you, without your presence my feeling empty too ..

i live but without soul :(

now bout my illness
thank you for discusing with clearly mind, i could be more agree with you when you said i should be anticipated for de worst case, even de result said differences ..
million times i wish i could believe the result in Mount Elizabet Singapore but my situation even worst compare i had in 2006 :(

this evening happened again when i got chat with Rezky, i`m glad it happened after he slept, only you and mc dreammy knew my situation included where i stayed at this moment ..no one else ...

Lief thank you for always be around and take care of me very well

Bluesky ..

Yes I do ...

2009-10-14T07:59:00.003-07:00

Hai AJ,

Yeah, since you were angry and made us separate I already miss u

missing some one who can enocurage me to express myself

missing some one who always make me feel writing is easy, making poetry is easy..

missing some one who without her I become a stone, doesnt have a full sense in the heart

for some moment, I lose all the great moment when I can share something with you

and that's make me feel empty

http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/47105/dance-with-the-moon-5.gif

so if you ask me do I ever miss you?

... I can say yes I do

its clear!

glad to have your e here... glad to see something written again in our horizon!

BlueOcean

beautifull poetry from internet bout togetheness

2009-10-13T18:57:00.002-07:00

Love can never be so beautiful without friendship...
one leads to another and the process is irreversible ...
the best lovers is the greatest of friends!

When you love someone,
don't expect that person to love you back the same amount.
One of you will be ahead, the other behind;
It's either you catch up or the other waits.

Never be afraid to fall in love.
It may hurt a lot,
it may give you aches and pains,
but if you don't follow your heart,
in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.

Love is not a feeling, it's a commitment.
Feeling comes and goes.
Love doesn't have to have a happy ending,
'coz love doesn't have to end at all.

True love hears what is not spoken,
and understands what is not explained,
for love doesn't work in the mouth,
nor the mind,
but in the heart..

When you love,
you must not expect anything in return,
for if you do,
you're not loving but investing.

If you love,
you must prepare to accept pain,
for if you expect happiness,
you're not loving but using...

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love
rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.

How can I say goodbye to someone I never had?
Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?
Why is that I miss someone I was never with and
I ask why I love someone whose love was never mine?
It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds...
but when these two worlds collide and become one,
that's what you call....... magic.

Don't love a person like a flower,
cause a flower dies in season.
Love them like a river cause a river flows forever...
Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again

--

Blue
I found this internet and I hope you dont mind i put in our shore
cos this poetry hit my heart remind me of someone ...

Do you ever miss me

2009-10-13T18:15:00.009-07:00

Hai Lief

Today ... ah no since last night I miss you badly
wait wait ... No ..actually de feeling since de moment we separated,
i already miss you,

Do you ever miss me ?? us ?
miss my " jail " or beautifull voice that you love :))

I knew you must miss me but i wanna know by asking directly ..
"do you ever miss me ?"

Lief
miliion things happened
many undescriable feelings i should swallow all alone.
million pray to God wishing you by my side to ease the pain
many nights i prefer to be alone in hospital cos i dont wanna anyone knows my pain beside you ..
Only you and you alone who could knew me
but since we separated ...im alone again facing the world

bluesky ..

Jika

2008-06-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Jika
ungkapan kata yang hendak kau cari untuk menjabarkan rasa rindu
maka tiada akan teruraikan dengan aksara

Jika
ribuan lagu yang hendak kau dengar untuk merasakan cinta didada
maka tiada senandung yang bisa mewakilkan rasa dihati

karena rasa itu ada didalam sanubari yang hanya kamu mampu menyentuhnya
bukan oleh kata atau senandung
tetapi hanya mampu dirasakan oleh jiwamu yg tulus

*Bluesky to Blue Ocean*
I do miss you too ....

meet me in horizon

2008-06-19T00:13:00.006-07:00

do you remember when the last time we met?

yeap, it was in kafe wien @ plaza senayan. it was the first and last time we finally met each other. entah untuk menuntaskan rindu, atau sekedar menghapus keinginan untuk bertemu setelah sekian lama kita hanya bercumbu dalam pikiran kita, bercumbu lewat pertukaran kata. dan kita seperti seperti dua orang tetangga yang baru saling kenal, berdiri di balik jendela masing-masing, saling memandang ke depan, di tempat mana kau dan aku masing-masing berdiri memandang. ada rindu di mata kita. ada sejuta kata tercekat di ujung lidah kita. aku menerawang. kau ringan melangkah melayang.

lalu setelah itu kau menjelma langit biru, bercengkerama dengan tebaran awan dan mega. dan aku terlempar, tenggelam ke dalam lautan biru terseret arus rindu yang berputar liar. tapi kau bilang kita terikat dalam satu simpul yang kita berdua tak pernah bisa mengerti dan menjabarkan sebagai ikatan apa. nyata namun selalu saja kita sangkal keberadaannya. kita abaikan namun selalu terbukti bahwa seringkali kita sampai pada kesimpulan... bahwa seringkali kita saling membutuhkan.

dan aku mulai merindukan langit dengan lukisan awannya yang selalu penuh aneka rupa, tetapi setia dengan satu warna dasar. biru. seperti merefleksikan suatu rasa yang selalu kupendam, tak pernah berubah. biru. warna yang menggambarkan orang yang merindu. warna seseorang yang tengah menyimpan satu rasa namun seringkali disangkalnya. warna yang hampir setiap orang akan meng-amininya, sebagai pengejawantahan satu rasa... cinta!

dan warna itu kian membius ketika aku tenggelam dan bermetamorfosa sebagai lautan biru yang labil. kadang tenang tak beriak, namun seringkali bergejolak. dan kau bilang kau terjerat biru yang kau biaskan di riak-riak biru airku. itu warnamu. membias di pucuk-pucuk riak yang sesungguhnya mewakili keinginan hati yang begitu ingin meraihmu. ya, kau bilang kau pun terjerat. maka kau sampaikan suatu hari lewat angin dan camar-camar yang melanglang melayang dan kadang hinggap di bibir-bibir pantai yang sengaja kulandaikan untuk tempatmu tetirah kala kau penat dan lelah. bahwa kau ingin singgah hinggap dan rebah, memeluk pasir-pasir yang menjanjikanmu kelembutan di kaki-kaki rampingmu yang jenjang menantang ombak, yang berkejaran dengan senang berebut menyentuh kulit kakimu.

namun sebesar apapun keinginan kita, kau makin menjelma selayaknya langit biru dan aku tenggelam ke dasar lautku. maka keinginan kita makin menjadi suatu kemustahilan, yang membuat kita sadar. namun kita tetap menafikan kenyataan, dan tak peduli menyadap mimpi-mimpi yang selalu saja kita berusaha menjadikannya sebagai satu lembar kehidupan nyata, di antara ribuan lembaran hari-hari yang selama ini kita jalani.

lalu kita terjaga. kau terhempas dan aku terhenyak. menyadari bahwa yang menyatukan kita selama ini hanya sebuah garis yang padanya kita terlihat menyatu dengan semu. cinta memang sesuatu yang nyata dan bisa kita sadari keberadaannya. namun saat yang bersamaan cinta menjadi sesuatu yang aneh ketika baik kau dan aku tak bisa menyentuhnya, apalagi menyimpannya untuk kita jadikan sesuatu yang bisa menyembuhkan setiap sakit yang hadir atau mengenyahkan dahaga yang selama ini menyekat.

dan kita saling menghibur diri kita dengan kesadaran. mungkin memang sebaiknya cinta kita simpan dikebiruan kita yang sama. kita simpan semua keinginan dan hasrat dan merubahnya dengan naluri untuk saling mengasihi, menyayangi, memperhatikan, memberikan ketenangan dan kedamaian untuk kita satu sama lain, dan menjadikan itu semua sebagai energi bagi kita untuk terus memperbaiki diri, seperti katamu.

meski kita memang tidak diciptakan untuk berada dalam satu dimensi yang sama, ruang dan waktu yang sama nyata, namun setidaknya aku akan selalu bisa menyaksikanmu, dimanapun aku berada... dan kapanpun. di siang yang benderang yang menjadikanmu biru menyala dan terang, atau di malam yang ditaburi sinar bulan yang perak yang menjadikan semua yang hitam menjadi putih dan pucat seperti perak. seperti kerap kulakukan ketika rindu tentangmu bergumul dan menarikku berjalan menapaki malam demi malam, sekedar menghitung berapa banyak bintang-bintang yang menemanimu di malam hari. atau mereka aneka bentuk awan gemawan yang kerap merupa berbagai macam siluet hewan. sambil mengingatmu... dan menerka-nerka gerangan sedang apa kamu di malam-malam ketika rinduku menggapaimu.

sementara kau pun bisa menyapaku, membelaiku, menyentuhku, kapan pun kaki-kaki telanjangmu yang indah dan ramping menjejak butir-butir pasir pantai yang katamu selalu kau rindui. atau ketika jari jemari lentikmu membelai riak-riak sisa-sisa pecahan ombak yang berlarian mengejar dan menyentuh bulu-bulu halus di kakimu, bercanda, berkejaran menemani kau yang berlarian dan tertawa gembira, seperti saat tiap kali kau singgah dan bersembunyi di Padma, di jantung pantai Legian, Bali atau di tempat-tempat serupa lainnya dimana kau bisa menyapaku, menyentuhku, menguraikan simpul-simpul yang kita jabarkan sebagai rindu itu, yang bergulung abadi seiring waktu. kapan pun. seperti riak ombak di lautku, dan lenguhan angin di langitmu. abadi.

maka jika aku rindu memelukmu dan kau bisa singgah dan turun sesaat saja dari ketinggianmu, turunlah dan temui aku. karena akan selalu ada tempat untuk kita bercumbu dan bercengkerama. suatu garis yang menyatukan biru yang ada diantara kita. suatu tempat bernama... cakrawala.

yeahh, meet me in horizon!

Pray

2008-05-26T19:53:00.003-07:00

dear blue ocean
wishing you the best in your life
my pray with you
always

Blue Sky

Dream and dream

2008-03-02T22:38:00.007-07:00

if dream is reflecting what inside our mind,

then i can see it is definitely clear..

that i miss you

cos i met you in my dream... again

i never ask for it, nor think about u so bad

so you can come into it

but yeah you always on my mind

fill out my thought, my head..

but though all that matters happenned,

i always trying to deny about this feeling

and trying to let it all gone and dissappear

i never care even just to say hello to you

and say whatever i wanna say

write so many things i wanna write

i choose being silent like a sleeping ocean

i can see this is the reason why i dream about you

again and again

clearly means, i do also miss you

and about another dream, about the kiss

let me say that it's been done already

without we have to cross the border

the smooth line that we do always respect about it

let say that it's been done when i close my eyes

and fill all my wilder thought with nothing but you

with a beautiful smile that i always care about

and the eyes that always able to melting whatever its freezing in my soul

its been done!

i kiss you in my dream

i got your lips in my freedom mind

and i'm gonna keep it there, that wish.. that promise!

to spurs my spirit in reaching one goal to another,

as it works for me :)

i'm gonna keep you well informed

gonna keep you in touch!

see u in the next goal, blue sky

love,

blue ocean

I always want u too, blue

2008-03-02T21:43:00.003-07:00

i may not be able to touch your eyes to dry your tears

i may not be able to hear your unspoken words as I'm not God

all i can do is let your tears touching my skin

and gather with all my tremble

singing the song of blue, about you and i

staring each other between the distance

missing each one only for a one hug, just one hug

as i have no wings to fly me up and reach you way up there

so pls come down and lay down deep inside my shore

drowning into the sea of my unspoken feeling towards u

that always sounds... i miss u

cos i always want u too, blue sky

love,

blue ocean

all i want is you

2008-03-01T20:19:00.003-07:00

tears flowin like a river
words spinning aroung in my head but cant be spoken
all i want is you to hold me ...

Blue
let me drowning in your deep blue sea

AJ

de promised

2008-03-01T19:43:00.005-07:00

My Dearest Blue ....
I`m glad you could reach one of your destination and prepare for next one
now I`m wondering how could i keep de promised ...........
uhmmm
many things we should been consider before we decided to cross de border .
please think again will you ..

Blue ...
at this very moment
I really need you to be with me in our shore
I wanna lay down
feel de warmt and drowning in beauty of deep blue ocean
let me stay there forever ...

Missing you
AJ

Someday

2008-02-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

Blue ....
Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains.

Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk.
It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever...

There will always be a place and time where
questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude
and promises will be fulfilled

Somewhere.
Somehow.
Someday."

If

2007-08-21T07:29:00.004-07:00

if words can describe what i feel inside towards you, i'm gonna write a song about how i feel everytime i spend my time in loneliness. but unfortunately i'm not a song writer nor my words can't describe it. so i let all my feelings fly with a wind with a hope they will touch your ear

if color and shape can express what i keep inside about you, i'm gonna paint a certain color with a certain shape that may say how much i miss u, each time i drowned in another solitude. but i'm not a painter nor ain't got a color and shape to figure it out. so i let this feelin' getting blur in the darkness, with a hope you can see this picture in your sleep.

if i may say with one plain and simple line to express millions of my desire about you, then let me say... I really miss U, with a hope that you can hear it without hesitate. Cos i do miss u so much

* blue ocean*

i really miss you

2007-08-21T07:29:00.001-07:00

kau gelorakan lagi riak-riak,
menjadi ombak,
menyeruak.. bergejolak.

kau usik lagi rindu
yang sempat tidur,
menggeliat bangkit
lari berpacu…
dan menderu

menggapai biru langitmu

I really miss U

* blue ocean*

Only You ...

2007-08-21T01:43:00.000-07:00

Blue Sky
you never know.. how often i think off you..
and i drowning in my imagination with you in my mind
just you!

i can feel i touch you
i can feel our hand in hand together
dancing with a very slow music playing around us
i whisper your name
whisper again and again so i can feel you more closer
i really miss you ...... blue sky ...

* just us *

our imagination

2007-08-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

Blue
i dream of u here with me
with nothin on but our imagination

de moment
between bali - jakarta

desire

2007-08-21T01:04:00.001-07:00

touch me ...
feel me ...
love me ....

de moment of our togetherness

" Hold on my heart "

2007-08-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

Blue ocean
Whenever you want me to
Whenever you call I will be there
Yes I will be there

-Blue Sky -

a feeling to love

2007-08-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

bluesky
ajarkan saya bagaimana mencintai kamu dengan sempurna
ajarkan saya bagaimana bisa memelukmu dengan lembut
ajarkan saya menyentuh bibir kamu, bukan dalam impian
ajarkan saya mewujudkan semua rasa menjadi nyata

Middle of our convo in lovely afternoon

* blueocean *

De Feeling

2007-08-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

fOr tHe sTArS tHaT sPArKLinG iN thE nIghT...

i love you, t... ups, blue sky

-blue ocean-

do you know...

2007-08-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

a short note to blue ocean:

do you know that i always miss u?

- blue sky -

A short note to the blue sky

2007-08-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

adakah pernah kau sadari
nyanyi laut yang mengalun pada hempasan riak ombak
memecah di pantai sebagai jerit keputus-asaan
ketika pucuk-pucuk buihnya
sia-sia menggapai birumu di batas cakrawala

adakah pernah kau resapi
gemerayap riak gemawan
yang tak pernah mampu menyentuhmu
sebagai butir-butir kerinduanku
yang memuai lalu beku dan menggumpal
kukirimkan untuk menyapamu
agar kau mau sesaat singgah memelukku yang kini resah -

14 Agustus 2007
Blue Ocean

cakrawala rindu

2007-07-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

Blue Ocean
siang ini kembali kau nyanyikan lagu lagu kesunyian saat kita memadu rindu ..
Kau ungkap kesendirianmu dalam menjalani hari demi hari
memandangku jauh tinggi diatas bersama rembulan..

Blue Ocean
adakah kau tahu bahwa walau kita terpisah oleh jarak ruang dan waktu
tetapi hati kita selalu satu ?
aku selalu bersama mu dibatas cakrawala rindu ?

Jangan pernah merasa sendiri
Jangan pernah merasa sepi
karena cintaku tumbuh ,mengalir berdenyut didalam nadimu

kekasihmu
Blue Sky

K e k a s i h

2007-05-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

disaat laraku
Kau panggil aku " k e k a s i h " ,,
kau hibur jiwaku dengan kata kata indahmu
kau menatap mataku dan berkata
"Buang airmatamu.. "
"Aku kau bahagia selamanya...'
"Aku hanya terdiam,
menitikkan air mata,
bertanya dalam hati,
" Blue Ocean Mengapa Kau bukan " d i a "??"

* bluesky*
moment @ mmc hospital

I miss you

2007-05-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

hi dearest
let me tell you a story, about my dream last night..
I met some one in my dream
I saw her at a glance.. just a flashing of shadowing face
In my dream, I feel like I was riding my motorbike, ride to a place that seems so far far away.
A place that I’ve never seen before.

I met some one there…..
Yeah ..Some one I really wanna see for a very long time
But ....you know what, even in my dream,
I can’t fullfill my thirsty to see her face
I can only see her in just a very short moment..
I was passing by a place (in that dream) which I feel that it was her house,
a place for her to hide..
I saw her face in a flash ..
I cant stop and entering that house, no matter how hard I wanna go in
Then I turn back and go back to my place
(still in my dream)

Oh, I remember one thing now..
I saw many layer of silk hanging down from the ceiling
It was dancing by the wind blow
I remembered that I’d once entering that house
Walking down to the terrace which all the seeing things made by wood
It seems like a cabin with a country style
The furnitures..
The teak pillars..
The place seems so empty. I tried to find that face everywhere, but she’d gone

Then I turn go back to my place, all sudden I got a package
She sent me some kind of two things.
I feels like a sim card that we use for our mobile phone..
The package said that she wants me to call her as we’ve been so silent for a quite long time..

Funny thing is (in that dream), I know that she knew my favorit music
I heard a jazz mucis playing around in that dream, came from that package..
Oh, yeah, I got a rip of paper.. with a note...
It was her complaining that why I didn’t come and see her in her place, infact I’ve already been travelling so far to visit her place.
Why didn’t I see her? She wrote that in the message..
Then I awoke up.. dream had gone
But it was you that I suddenly remembering off
Because, it was you some one in that dream, blue sky..
its true
I remember you this morning, with a strong feeling about you
And then, I surprised that when I open my email I got a notice that you posted something in our diary..
So i read what you've posted in there..
How come????

Seems like we have the same thought
You said u miss me
And at the same time, i do missing you here
I was riding my motorbike this morning with you in my head
All sudden I really wanna see you, blue sky
I wanna talk to you not the way we were ‘talking’
Thru the words we wrote, thru the words we read
Thru the thoughts we shared
I know that you knew that I really wanna touch you not the way we’ve been touching each other..
Thru the words we share, touching each other in our mind..
In our thought……..
You said that u miss me
I miss you also, blue sky

I miss the moment that I stand in front of you
Touching your face, your eyes, your lips, your hair
Standing right before your very eyes..
I really wanna see you, the whole you
In time you are happy or sad
I really wanna know that either you’re laugh or cry, I see it with my very own eyes
Not thru the words that I read in the monitor
Like I am doing now.. reading what you’ve already posted.
Thru the diary we share together…
Cos, you know.. I think about you this morning, last nite in my dream, and the day before…
and so many days before

I miss you, so much..

love
*blue ocean*

missing you

2007-05-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

dearest my blue ocean
its been a while we dont share our feelings
but i do hope you always know that im never leave you
actualy ............................................
i needed you
yeah
but ...
no words could say to you
my lips is lock..
i couldnt do anythin
its too painfull deep inside of me

i know u always say that
i could lean on you anytime
but ...........................
i dunno
i couldnt do anythin beside missing you

missing you
* blue sky*

Thank You ..........

2007-03-31T09:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Ocean
been a while that I come to visit you again in here
cause for some moment I need time to be all alone in my shore
I knew ..yeah
I knew actually You never let me be all alone
Tears flowin when You said wanna be with me in da hospital
You wanna be there with me not only my family
You willing to spend time to comfort me too
Thank You Blue ocean
I knew your love is very true
I knew your sincere
I knew your heart isnt a stone
I knew you have feeling too but forgive me until now that i couldnt give what i ve already promised ..
its not blank promised
someday i will make up to you at the end of your journey ..

love
Blue Sky@ Kingdom

You dont Have any reason to be jealous

2007-03-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

dear blue ocean
in our convo this afternoon you said about "jealousy "
u dont have too ...
u dont have to be jealous w anyone
anybody
cause " ur place" couldnt be replace with anyone ..

i knew we only meet in our horizon but
everytime we are together is only us noone else
u and me could share every little thing in our life
our faith
our peacefullness ..
even our deepest fear ...
Blue , U are the source of comfortness
my destination when i need shoulder to cry on and a place that i share my happiness too
Might be i dont express much about my feelings to you but
it doesnt not mean that i dont put attention to you or this blog
I always love you too Blue in a very special way ..
dont ever worry about that

miss you too

Blue Sky

Love is in the air...

2007-03-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Sky
Do you know why i call u blue sky?
B'cos blue is the color of love.. For me, blue is the representative of the feeling of love.
When i'm falling in love, it'll automaticly drivin' me crazy abt blue color..
I change my desktop into blue, i pick color of blue for my tape dispenser..I feel so blue.. B'cos i am fallin in love.
And you? You are the one who make me fall in love..
All you thought, your email, your poem, your pm, your sms, your feeling toward me..
your attention to me.. the way you talk, the way you laugh.. even the way you think..
your smart.
Everything.....
But sadly i can't reach you bcos your place is too high..

You are some where in the height.
You are some one I can only see.
You are some one whose appear in my mind everytime i see the sky,no matter it is daylight or in the nite.
You are the one i always thought each time i see the sky.the sky with the color of blue, the color that i love so much. the color of my heart.
And that's the story how i call u blue sky.. The call that i've never used before for some one else.. B'cos you're so special.

Last sunday i went to a mall and stop by at MM Juice to have late lunch..
You know what? i found on the beverages menu a drink they call it the Blue Sky..
I ordered one. The taste was good.It was sour-sop juice mixed with Pepsi Blue.
So you can imagine how the taste it was, huh? :)
I smiled.Apparently, i can see you everywhere.
Hm, how can i ever forget about you, lover?I know I can't, no matter what..
However, i would never forget you because somehow
You,AJ are my Blue Sky...

You are some one with whom I've ever wonder to be part of.
You are my Blue Sky, some one with whom i've ever fall in love with..
You are my Blue Sky, the one with whom i could open up myself and tells you what i feel, how i feel.. who i am in the past, my sadness, my misery, my painfull childhood.
You are the one with whom I could feel so comfort to let myself drowning in to your hug and let myself being a child who miss the tease.
The one i could never ask to some one else.
Do you know why I call you Blue Sky? Simply because I love you...

Love,
Blue Ocean

Nyanyian pantai laut biru.

2007-03-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Seseorang pernah bertanya padaku, seperti apa gerangan pantai yang bernyanyi.
Aku tak menjawabnya, selain melayangkan seutas senyum.Memang tak perlu kujawab karena ia memang tak memerlukan jawaban. Juga tak perlu kuterangkan, karena ia bukanlah laut. Juga bukan pasir-pasir yang menjejali batas antara daratan dan lautan.
Cukuplah bagiku untuk mengetahui nyanyian pantai dengan bahasa yang kumengerti sendiri, dengan telingaku sendiri.
Karena akulah lautan biru, sedang pantai adalah bagian dari jiwaku.
Maka ketika aku mendengarkan nyanyian pantai, sesungguhnya itu adalah bagian dari suara jiwaku. Nyanyian pantai adalah nyanyianku.

Barangkali ada nun jauh disana, di ketinggian yang tak pernah dapat kujangkau,
seseorang yang menggantungkan jiwanya di langit biru.
Seseorang dengan siapa aku bisa berbagi rasa,bernyanyi bersama, saling bersahutan lewat bahasa yang sama di cakrawala. Bahasa yang diwakili oleh satu warna.
Biru.

Kedalamanku adalah ketinggiannya. Biruku adalah pulasan warna yang dia pantulkan dari kebiruannya. Maka jika aku membiru, seperti itu pulalah jiwanya.
Dan ketika ia kelabu, maka suram pulalah jiwaku.Kelam dan kelabu.

Dan jika seseorang bertanya seperti apa nyanyian pantai, maka itu berarti dia memang tak bisa memahami aku.
Dan memang aku tak pernah berharap seseorang akan bisa memahami jiwaku.
Karena cukup bagiku menatap jauh di ketinggian langit biru, dan memintanya untuk berkaca di biru lautku, dan aku yakin seketika ia akan bisa memahami aku.
Mendengar nyanyianku. Nyanyian pantai laut biru.

Membuka Diri...

2007-02-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

My dear blue sky,

Beberapa hari yang lalu kamu pernah bilang bahwa akulah yang mengabaikan kamu. I’m the one who leave, padahal –as you said— you’re always available for me :) ,,, Well I know you are. Actually, I am not leave either. I’m still here, as always watching you way up there, Selalu ada keinginan untuk berbicara dengan kamu,, Selalu ada rasa kangen untuk kita saling curhat dan membuka diri. Kangen sekali.

Tapi itu terpaksa nggak kulakukan, dan satu-satunya alasan kita jadi jarang ‘bicara’ adalah karena aku nggak punya hal lain yang menarik untuk aku bagi denganmu kecuali… keluhanku,, I got nothing to say except complaining,, Ga mungkin ’kan kalo tiap kali kita bicara, isinya tentang segala beban dan uneg2 yang menggangguku,,

Yang paling baik dalam suatu hubungan adalah ketika kita bisa saling berbagi, saling mengisi, saling memberi.. ketika aku memiliki sesuatu, maka aku seharusnya berbagi denganmu.. ketika aku merasakan kekosongan, maka kamu akan hadir mengisi kekosongan itu, ketika kamu membutuhkan aku, maka aku datang memberi apa yang kamu butuhkan, dan sebaliknya.. begitu seterusnya,,

Forever and ever ....

2007-02-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Blue
apapun yang kau alami ..
aku akan selalu berada disini
untuk menyayangimu ...

* U have me forever ..... and ever *

*BlueSky

catatan utk blue ocean

2006-10-11T03:39:00.000-07:00

Blue
ada pepatah yang mengatakan bahwa kita hidup ini utk mewujudkan impian.
tanpa ada harapan dan impian hidup tidak akan banyak berarti
selama masih ada nafas diraga
besar kesempatan utk mewujudkan angan
jangan pernah putus mengejar harapan dan asa
Good Luck

Thea

sebuah catatan pagi:

2006-10-11T03:37:00.000-07:00

untuk AJ Moniques...
bisakah kita memisahkan impian, khayalan dengan kenyataan? mungkinkan kita hidup hanya dalam kenyataan tak peduli terkadang pahit ada kalanya manis, dan mengabaikan impian yang tak pernah diundang sedang mimpi itu sering menjadi kebahagiaan buat kita, atau menolak khayalan yang karenanya padanya hidup menjadi makin berarti?

seringkali aku tak mampu memisahkan ketiganya, atau kadang aku tak peduli untuk menikmati impian, khayalan dan kenyataan sekaligus. meski kadang khayalan pahit ketika terbentur kenyataan.

adalah kenyataan di diriku kini tumbuh cinta untuk kutaburi padamu. cinta yang semula ada dalam khayalan kita, kini makin kabur dari batas-batas yang kita sepakati bersama dan membuncah, menguasai kesadara kita dan hidup dalam kenyataan kesadaran kita. dan kenyataan ini menghias mimpi-mimpiku menjadi tentangmu. mimpiku adalah bersamamu. mimpiku adalah memelukmu, adalah mendekapmu, menatap wajahmu, menyentuhmu... impian bahwa kau ada dihadapanku, nyata dijangakauanku. tak sirna sebagaimana mimpi yang terpenggal waktu ketika terjaga...

tapi adalah kenyataan bahwa aku harus menyimpan khayalanku tak lebih dari sekedar mimpi-mimpi, karena kenyataan menitahkanku. kenyataan melarangku. khayalan menertawakanku. kenyataan tak bisa kupungkiri bahwa cinta bagiku, bagimu, bagi kita... cinta yang kita punya, yang kita rasa, adalah akan lebih subur tumbuh dalam khayalan-khayalan dan impian kita. kenyataan hanya akan menjadi vonis kematian bagi rindu kita yang baru saja tersemai. ladang bagi cinta kita adalah impian. meski rindu yang tumbuh menyemai adalah kenyataan. perasaan hangat, debar, getar, yang hadir tiap kali kusebutkan namamu, adalah juga kenyataan yang turut menyuburkan khayalan-khayalanku. cinta adalah kenyataan bagiku. dan menaburimu dengan cintaku adalah impian berjutaku, khayalan terindahku.

aku tak tahu kapan akhirnya aku terbelenggu dengan semuanya, kenyataan, khayalan atau impian-impianku dan mengaburkan semua batas-batas yang jelas awalnya.

aku tak tahu dibagian mana aku lebih menyukai untuk hidup lebih lama. apakah menerima kenyataan sebagai tuan yang menguasai benakku, atau membiarkan khayalan dan impian melambungkanku jauh ke mega-mega, bersamamu.

ketiganya hidup dan menghidupiku.
kesemuanya membuatku lengkap.

diatas semuanya, aku tak ingin ingkar pada hati dan perasaanku.
aku mencintaimu, tumbuh apa adanya...

sebuah catatan kerinduan

2006-10-11T03:36:00.000-07:00

Semalam, sebelum aku tidur
(episode ditengah hamparan bintang)

untuk AJ Moniques

Rindu.
Belenggu.
Kuterikat.

Aku, kau.
diantara kita terbentang jarak.
Kita dekat.

Bayangmu, pikiranku, semua lekat.
Kau aku, satu.
di rinduku,
di sendiriku,
di diamku,
di gelapku,
menyatu kau
menyatu aku
dalam rindu. Satu.

18 November 2003
di lingkup langit, beranda rumahku

catatan kecil

2006-10-11T03:35:00.000-07:00

10 Nopember 2003

apa yang terjadi denganku?
dengan kita?

perasaan yang kubiarkan mengalir
berawal perlahan,
kini makin deras,
menghempas

aku hanyut, terbawa keindahan
sia-sia kuhentikan iramanya,
alirannya.

karena tak ada lagi
sisa-sisa kekuatan hati dan keinginanku
yang mampu menahannya!

inikah yang terjadi denganku?
yang terjadi pada kita?

aku mencintaimu...
sebebas perasaanku yang merdeka

tanpa judul

2006-10-11T03:34:00.000-07:00

tentang kita

2006-10-11T03:32:00.001-07:00

perumpamaan aku dan kau
adalah lautan dan langit
sama-sama luas
sama-sama biru
sama-sama bertabur rindu
jarak diantara kita begitu jauh
aku sibuk dengan riak dan gejolak
dan kau sibuk dengan awan gemawan
tapi birunya kita bertaut di batas cakrawala
hati kita bertaut dikesamaan rasa

adakah kata yang tepat untuk kita?
tentang aku dan kau
jika rindu selalu bicara
tapi batas diantara kita begitu nyata?
cinta bagiku ada,
begitu nyata...

-our feelings mutual-

terimakasih

2006-10-11T03:32:00.000-07:00

untuk AJ Moniques

pagi ini kulewati jalan itu seperti biasa
ada sesuatu menyergap, menyeruak dalam diri
aku tahu itu rindu. aku selalu mengenalinya.
aku selalu menggumankan namamu
merasakan dan membayangkan kedekatan,
denganmu

tapi jujur saja selepas jalan itu kau tak sirna
tak seperti asap yang lenyap ketika kukibaskan
atau lampu merah terakhir yang lenyap dari pandangan
ketika aku berbelok, dan bergumam... kau dimana?

dan pagi ini kita bertukar sapa secara maya
lumayan. sedikit mengaburkan kerinduan
lalu kuadukan kekangenanku tentangmu
dan kau memberiku sebuah pelajaran
tentang rindu yang tak mengenal waktu

terima kasih kau masih mengingatku!

Maret 2004
@ chatting

memory

2006-10-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

untuk AJ Moniques:

dan jalan-jalan itu menjadi kenangan
ketika aku belum lagi melewatinya
bersamamu

di tempat itu kisahmu tertuang
utuh dalam segenap ingatanku

jalan-jalan itu menjadi kenangan
ketika aku melewatinya dengan sendu
rindu menggayuti seluruh inderaku
kau ada disini!

Januari 2004
-depan JW Marriot

jika

2006-10-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

sebuah pesan:
kepada AJ Moniques

jika memilikimu berarti akhir buat kita
maka biarkan rindu menggantikan semua
keinginan yang pernah ada
jika memelukmu cuma meninggalkan luka
maka biarkan kututup mata
dan menghadirkanmu dalam kebebasan khayal
jika kau aku bahagia ketika bersentuhan dalam rasa
maka biarkan rasa menjadi raja
dan membebaskan kita dari keinginan yang sia-sia

rindu dan cintaku kubiarkan bergumul
dalam segenap asa dan pikiranku serta pikiranmu,
seperti janji kita sesaat lalu

catatan:
setelah ini tak kan kupertanyakan keputusanmu

lonely

2006-10-11T03:23:00.000-07:00

seribu wajah dimata
seribu bunga semerbak
menyengat benak
tapi sepi di hatiku menyeruak
aku menginginkanmu,
aku mencarimu,
terbelenggu.
rindu selalu.

7 Oktober 2004
Hall B, JCC, di suatu pameran

nyanyian rindu

2006-10-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

pernahkah ku meminta sesuatu diluar kesanggupanmu ?
aku hanya ingin kita saling menyayangi seperti langit dan laut biru ... tetapi jika menyayangiku hanya melahirkan dosa

lupakan aku...
tak akan ada lagi nyanyian kerinduan kepadamu
kan kubuang semua rasa sisa yg ada ...
semoga kau selalu bahagia ...

Today's Thought...

2006-10-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

dear blue sky,

kamu selalu bilang, that i have u forever. makasih.. aku ingin banget menerima kata-kata itu sepenuhnya. tapi entah kenapa, seringkali aku lose my confidence. aku gak berani untuk keep in my mind that i have u forever. why? mungkin krn sifat asliku yang dulu, introvert.. dan perasaan minder yg dulu sering menghinggapi aku, sekarang hadir lagi dan makin menguasaiku.
aku gak berani se-gr itu untuk mengakui dgn sepenuh kesadaran, bahwa aku memiliki kamu. yess, kamu selalu menjadi bagian dari aku. ketika aku merasa kesepian, dalam kesendirian, selalu ada ruang di pikiranku dimana kamu menguasai sepenuhnya. aku juga kangen kamu. tapi aku gak berani.

blue sky,

aku kangen kamu. kangen sekali. kangen menumpahkan all the feeling i have for you, di media ini... tapi lagi-lagi rasioku berbicara. memangnya aku siapa? hanya disini aku bisa dan berani merasa memiliki kamu. aku juga rindu hari-hari kita yang dulu. aku kangen suaramu. kangen menikmati percakapan dengan kamu di telp malam2. kangen menikmati mataku terpejam sambil meresapi suaramu. kangen protes kamu waktu aku bilang i miss your voice krn menurut kamu itu berarti aku gak kangen seluruh kamu. (i still can remember the feeling i have when u call me from padma hotel, bali. that was the first time we talk. first time i hear your voice. tahun 2004 yang lalu.. jeezee...!!! that's so lovely voice. and the way you pronounce 'ask'... hmmm, never heard that one before. its really u.. you keep saying 'aks' )

yeah, aku kangen itu. if i may say, aku ingin membiarkan perasaan dan pikiran kita bercinta. di dunia maya ini.

hari ini, aku, again, think abt you along the ride. its u i was thiking off. aku berpikir tentang pikiran2 kita. tentang betapa kuatnya pikiran2mu membuatku menyukaimu. membuatku sayang kamu. tapi ketika kita tampil seluruhnya, aku menghadapi kenyataan siapa kamu, siapa aku. lalu gambar itu terpambang lagi. puisi itu mengiang lagi. tentang lautku dan langitmu. dan itu membuatku sadar that we can only meet in our horizon. here in this kind of crazy wacky world... :)

some times I'm affraid. affraid of membayangkan ketika aku kangen kamu sekangen-kangennya, tapi kamu nggak ada dihadapanku. aku takut membiarkan perasaanku membuncah, meluap lalu terserak. sirna terbawa kecewa. karena sesungguhnya tak pernah ada kita yang nyata. Karena sesungguhnya gelora ombakku tak 'kan pernah mampu menggapaimu, sedahsyat apapun laut kusibakkan. maka rindu hanya dapat menyentuh ketinggianmu ketika butir-butir airku menguap dan melayang ringan menuju ketinggian tempatmu. setidaknya rindu selalu bisa mendekatkan aku denganmu. dan kehangatanmu selalu menyentuhku. sepanjang waktu.

hmm, mungkin kamu belum menyadari, atau barangkali aku gak pernah memberi tahu kamu satu hal ini... you have me too, always.

i miss u...
blue ocean

Inginku...

2006-10-10T03:00:00.000-07:00

bisakah kita saling berpelukan
dan merasakan getaran yang menghangatkan
tanpa aku, kamu harus berada
di ruang dan waktu yang sama
tak ada tatapan yang bicara
kecuali mataku matamu terpejam riuh dalam lena
dan kita saling dekap
membiarkan kesejukan rindu menyergap
aku ingin memelukmu
di khayalku kini...

______________
10 August 2004
my special

(blue ocean)

our love

2006-10-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

Im still me and You still You

2006-04-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Dearest Blue Ocean ........
Tonight we have a minute to talk and do u know when I say I Miss you.
because thats what i felt,Im not lied at all ..
even we both know have someone in our life but the feeling to eachother still there.
as I told you million times I dont wanna meet you not because that I dont care with ur feeling to me BUT because I dont wanna ruin everything what we have now .
I have a happy life with my partner so are you with your lovely wife :)
please keep it that way dont ever changed at all.
dont forget we supposed to make eachother happy not de opposite.
Please remembered for many years Ur de one that I always share bout everythin dont changed because our status cos those may changed But i do know my feeling same as you is never changed
Im still me and you still you
we still de same even this horizon is de placed we could meet .

Blue
never felt alone again cos u always have me if u wanna share anythin
please give me lovely happiness poetry
dont make sadness prosa

Miss you Blue Ocean ..

Always

Blue Sky

Happy Birthday...

2006-04-10T23:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Sky,

Apakah memang kita ditakdirkan untuk tidak bisa bersama? Baik dalam kenyataan maupun sekedar dalam keinginan, atau sekedar sebuah khayalan pendek yang sederhana bahwa aku bisa merasakan satu hari saja bersamamu?

Ataukah garis itu memang sedemikian tegas. Sebuah garis yang memisahkan aku dan kau, menghempaskan aku di kedalaman tempatku hingga tak memiliki bahkan sedetik saja waktu untuk membiarkan pikiranku terbang bersamamu.

Hampir setiap hari kuingatkan tentang hari dimana bagimu akan sangat berarti, jauh sebelum hari itu datang. Begitu banyak keinginan kurancang agar bisa kuberikan padamu dan menjadikannya sebagai sesuatu yang berarti bagimu, sebagai sebuah tanda dariku bahwa kau selalu menjadi sesuatu yang berarti bagiku.

Tapi entah kenapa, aku kembali melewatkannya. Aku kehilangan momen berharga itu dan menyadarinya ketika semua telah berlalu. Hari ini, suatu kilatan tiba-tiba berkelebat dan menyengatku ketika aku menyadari 2 hari yang lalu merupakan hari istimewamu. Ya, kau berulang tahun.

Ah, aku menyesal. Tak ada alasan yang akan kukemukakan padamu selain aku memang kehilangan hari itu.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, blue sky... Semoga doa yang kupanjatkan hari ini bisa sama berartinya dengan jika kupanjatkan dihari ketima kau mengharapkannya. Ya, semoga kebahagiaan, kasih sayang dan berkah dari Allah SWT, selalu menyertaimu. Amin.

Love,
Blue Ocean

finally

2006-03-10T04:36:00.000-07:00

dear blueocean
its been a while
we never seen the horizon again ...
but today my feet landed in here cos i miss you
yes blue i do miss you ....
and u miss me as well dont u .
we both know miss each other but nothin we could do
beside starring eachother from our land

its so good to be laugh again
so happy we could tease each other again like the old time
im happy we "renewal " our agreement
that we wont be childish again
we wont hurt each other again
we will stick with our agreement ...
that this horizon is only a place for us to meet
no other place ....

glad have you back again blue ocean
and keep smiling again
dont be lonely ..
coz i always be yours

*blue sky*

andai

2005-10-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

andai .....
ada kata yang mampu menguraikan rasa kecewa akan kutuliskan semuanya
tetapi tidak ada satu patah kata yg tersusun untuk menggambarkan semua luka didada
ah , ternyata semua rangkaian kata itu tak bermakna ..

* blue sky *

The promise..

2005-09-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Sky,
Remember the time when you promise me something?
You said that you'll give me a special reward if I wanna go back to school and finish my study? You might probably forgot about that promise.. Now, let me re-fresh your memory. It was a year ago precisely in the ramadhan fasting period.. I could never forget your promise after since. I keep in my mind that I have to earn that 'special reward'.. So, if I am now going back to school and start to continue my study, it is not only a matter of having a title.. degree or whatever it is.. Honestly, what I concern at most is.. the reward. I just want you to know that I want to have that reward so bad.. But I wont take it freely, bcos.. nggak seru, ah! Now, I'm gonna enjoy the journey to get 'that'

Wish me luck, okay? Hey, come one.. be fair and wish me luck.. :)
Hmm, I think it will help me alot if you would remind me everymonth.. where is this journey going to end.. :))

Gonna miss u as well...

With love, Blue Ocean

Your last email and the reply from me :)

2005-09-06T00:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Sky,
I wont ruin the happiness surrounding you rite now as you are planning to do a big-big-big thing in your life. No, I wont! What I wrote in my reply is also completely true. I am happy for you, I do mean it.
But, if you think that I dont feel something with this 'crack' in our relationship, I must say that it is wrong. I do. I felt something. I felt that some day we could never meet again, even in the horizon, as we always did. And I know for sure that.. when it is come, I'm gonna feel lonely as I cant talk to you any longer.

I'm glad that eventhough you're gonna enter that zone, you will not leave me alone. So, I'll gonna do the same if you ask me too.. I would be here for you.
B'cos I love you.

Love,
Blue Ocean

I really Love you

2005-08-30T15:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Ocean

Last night I drowning on our ancient email and all lovely poetry
Im smiling and one of my friend Mia told me that Im very lucky to have someone very understanding like you
Arghh Yes indeed .....
Im very Lucky to have someone like you ..
Tried to remembered for couple years ago when de last time we are argued ... uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm cant remembered de numbers at all beside couple week ago .. when ... yah uhmm when , when yeaps when I dont realize ur not a stone. Sorrio Love hehe

Dear , as my confession to you lately i have been changed a lots
I have a gut to step in another zone in life .Its not easy but God help me and most of all is You !
Yeah You my Love
Its Your words opening my eyes and my mind
I wont be that zone without you guide me .
Is Your patience and love leads me there .

Now after you read this I do hope your life will much better because Ur happiness is My happiness too .
And to start a lovely day Let me say something to You from deep down my heart .. " I really Love you and I promise never leave you alone again "

Miss you

"Blue Sky "

Ur Not a Stone ....

2005-08-18T07:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Ocean

Im really glad we could talk heart to heart today b4 my meeting
Finally I realised about Your true feelings
Sorry , I was blind all these time n made You missarable ..
I really dont mean that ..
As you know I always forgot that *ur not a stone*

Blue
Thank you for your understanding
Thank you for your patience and still Loving me even I said *Kamu Ndableg yah !!! ,..*

Hey Tonight is Full Moon and its so beautifull ..
Im glad we could laugh again

Yours
Blue Sky

Always you...

2005-08-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

My Dear BlueSky,

Always is the only word that I can describe about you as well as my feeling about you. Yet we have decided not to meet bcos we both know the answer why, you will also be stay in the depth of my ocean heart.. Permanently. Nothing can take you out from there. As long as I can stare at your blue skin, as long as u can see reflection of your blue, you will always be in my hear. Always in my mind.

Some times love dont need to be spoken. And I will say no more about how much I care about you, how much I love you cos I'm sure that you've already known. As I am here have no doubt abt what your feeling about me.

Yet we can't never own one to another, we still have our soul be united. You're my soulmate.

Maybe I will say no more to you for the rest of my live. But I will let u know every time I long for you. You'll see the color of my heart for you. You'll find what inside my mind abt you.

As I start the jurney of my day this morning with the thougt abt you, I'm sure it will be ended also with you in my mind as I always take a look at stars before I go to bed.

You will always be in my mind.

Always,

*BlueOcean*

Always ................

2005-08-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Ocean My Love

Tonight
I`m sad ... I cried ,Damn I never know the loneliness in you .
Speechless .All these time i just share all my problems with out thinkin about your needed . Im really sorry ..
l hope its not to late to let you know that I always be here for you
No matter whats gonna happen between us is never ever change my feeling to you
" I love you ,,,,,, always "
a l w a y s

Blue Please dont ever be lonely again
look around you ,you should be happy , dont ever say like tonight again
and if you really love me ( anyway I do know u love me ... ) dont ever say that words again

Blue ocean I know is a Fighter
I love him because of his beautifull mind
because of the beauty of his words
because of thousand reason i couldnt explain
and million reason dont have to be xplain at all
I really love you cos what you are

Now about us ...
do you know de reason we cant being together
cos actualy we already have the answer
please dont ever think to cross the border
even we are not together but i do believe our soul is always be united

Please Blue
dont ask me again why ...
but i do hope u could feel de love i have for you
look at the sky ...
I always watching you every minutes in your life
always ...
always
always

* BlueSky*

meet me in the horizon, midnite :)

2005-08-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

my dear blue sky...

So, gimana kabarnya hari ini?

Hey, have you notice that this month we're gonna have an amazing moment that we might not face it again for the rest of our life.. The full moon during this year is gonna be amazing cos moon is in her position closing to the earth.. as well as march. just dont miss this wonderfull picture start from early august, take a look to the east start from 8pm - 10pm and end up at 3am. on full moon this august to september, the march will be seemed as big as full moon.

so, think of me when u see it, okay? cos i'm gonna do the same..

today i was so hectic. got to prepare lot of thing in coal project.. company has obtain a concession area at kaltim in which there r so many coal reserves inside there.. it can be explore until the next 20 years.. so, we're now looking for an investor.

duh, maaf ya.. sampe gak sempet sekedar tat-tit-tut buat sms-in kamu, lover :) believe it or not deh judulnya.. hehehehe

i hope i can get involve deeper with this business.

tonite i just realize that i'm so tired. i just need to see u, wherever it gonna be. so, if we can only meet in the horizon for the time being, then let's meet in the horizon.

i miss u
blue ocean

What do you think...

2005-08-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Blue Sky..

What do you think if we change our diary's name to ... 'Our Horizon' instead of 'BlueSkyandBlueOcean'? So, the website address will be... http://OurHorizon.blogspot.com/ or http://TheHorizon.blogspot.com .. instead of http://blueskyandblueocean.blogspot.com/???

Just for simplicity reason, actually.. :))

What do you say?

But, it doesnt matter if we can't change it anymore, hon..

Yours,
Blue Ocean

Should we meet???

2005-07-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Some times i feel.. uhmm, no, no, no.. I cant continue that word..
Well, what should I say.. hmmm, kay!

First, I think I must apology for being late to respond your sms.. I was on d tide up meeting with pak Adi (hmm, should I mention any name here??? well, okelah.. so many pak Adi's name in this world, isnt it?).. to inventory and update things on the Coal project.

Well, you know.. to start anything is always 'ngerepotin banget', 'kan? .. Begitu juga jalanin project ini. We are setting up a new business in coal mining.. Doing this.. doing that.. evaluate this and that.. A lot of things we must done in this week. So, the meeting was taking place for about 2.5 hours, starting from 4.00pm - 6.30pm.. Fiuuh!!!

What I wanna say to you is I'm so excited rite now, dear... You know I've been drowning with bbrp masalah kemarin-kemarin.. which I wish I could share with you tapi gak sempet2 krn kelamaan mikir! :)) .. I know God is never sleep to watch me. He just gave me back to smile again :) ..

Now I'm thinking about you.. Well, I do always think about you, actually.. But, everytime I stand up from the misery, all sudden I remember you. Thanks for giving me a spirit, dear.. Thanks for cheering up my soul. You always do that..

Ups!!! I was gone to far out of topic... Jeezee, this topic should be 'should we meet' right?

Kay, here is the point..!! bluesky, you've been stand up for me, giving me a support, spirit and time to share, everytime I feel down. Now, I actually want to share this excitement with you.. Beyond the horizon if we can :) That's why I raised that question.. Should we meet??

Hmmm, looks like we've been tempted to cross d border, dont u think? hehehehe...

About your post, I think you have the same place deep down in my heart, skyblue :) You'll always be there.. You'll always be some one I think about during the journey.. You'll be the one I see when I catch the sun in d daylight and the moon when its turn to dark. You are always be a special one.. uncomparable.

So, should we meet and crossing the border? *wink* :D:D:D

Cross de border .....

2005-07-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

Dear blue
Today we have loong convo about "cross de border" after de phone hang up
I believe u must be smiling now as im laughing very hard hearing all ur xplaination de importance our meeting :)

uhmmm should we ,would we and could we ???
you you and you quite temptating me with all those justification

Love
I thought we both agree is horizon only our meeting point not any other place in this earth, and even we cant meet but you already knew all my feelings , our silent moment speak a thousand words .
None in this world could replace ur in my heart, None even if theres big storm or any thunders
Nothing gonna replace ur place in me.
None ever gave me special attention like u did de sweet tenderness , de serenade and million attention i couldnt describe one by one .
You got very special way too to love someone darling

Remember ... u got special place in my heart cant be replace by anyone ,anybody

Miss You ........... always

*Blue Sky*

be a writer..

2005-07-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

blue sky,

kamu bilang, kamu yakin bahwa aku bisa jadi penulis -a great writer- suatu saat nanti.. you know you just made me shaking. aku coba inget2 lagi brp orang yang pernah bilang gitu ke aku.. and i found none.

aku bergetar tiap kali kamu bilang begitu.. karena keinginan itu --be a writer-- memang sesuatu yang sejak lama aku inginkan, tapi selama ini aku pendam.. mungkin jika aku gali lagi, aku tahu bahwa keinginan ini --menjadi penulis-- adalah sesuatu yang selama ini memanggilku. pendiam, tertutup, pengamat, lebih suka mendengar ketimbang berbicara, lebih suka bicara lewat tulisan ketimbang lewat kata-kata.. itu semua memang gambaran yang ada padaku, blue sky. it's me.

dan kamu membuat aku bergetar, karena kamu yang menangkap semua keinginanku. meski kamu (lets say) belum terlalu mengenalku..

and that makes you a very special one. kamu memang full of inspiration.

*blue ocean*

You have a great way to love some one...

2005-07-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Skyblue,

Setiap pagi, ketika aku terjaga dan melihat ke jendela tatkala hari menjelang terang, aku selalu terbawa pada suatu kesadaran dimana kau selalu menjadi bagian dari kesadaran itu. Aku mengingatmu. Kuinginkan atau tidak, sel-sel memori di benakku selalu mengirimkan sinyal isyarat yang lalu kuartikan sebagai sebuah nama, satu sosok, seseorang.. yang mengarah pada dirimu. Aku tahu bahwa kamu selalu ada buatku. Tahu sekali.

I just want u to know that I do care for u. I do know that you'll stand beside me and helping me to overcome my problems. I know. If I choose not to share my problems with you, it just because I am trying to be tough. I do appreciate it, so much..

Kamu memang special, skyblue. The way you treat people is uncomparable. You have a great heart to love some one. When I realize that you put me in that very special place, I can't find any other word to describe it except.. being honoured. I'm flattered, off course. You just shown me what the meaning of.. love conquer everything.

And if I have a chance to come to your place in a such height.. I know I will say this without a hesitate.. I love you.

Remember, when we talk on the phone while you were in the car on your way home, I once said.. 'I love you'.. It because I can't stand the feeling grows in me when we know each other more and more.. I can't stand to keep it any while longer.. Your thought, your oh-so-lovely voice, your oh-so-crispy laugh, your vision, your 'aks.. I can not make my self forget all of you.. No matter how hard I want it so.

Now, I want u to know that you always have me too.. I wont go from the point I stand right now. My ocean will always available for your blue.. As we are aware that this relationship is gonna make as be better, then why should we switch the mode is off? 'Available mode will always on'.. Maybe we also have to switch the 'caution mode is on' at the certain time :) But the point is, we're always be a digital diary one to another..

As we can meet in the horizon at an uncertain time, then let us make it a very special time when it comes.. A time to share the blue, a time to care each other that I just wanna love you...

Yours,
Oceanblue

Tentang Biru.. Tentang Waktu

2005-07-25T21:31:00.001-07:00

Dear Blue Sky,

Yang menyatukan kita memang warna. Kau memiliki biru di langitmu, dan aku memiliki biru di lautku. Tak pernah sekalipun aku bosan menikmati warna yang kau tebarkan. Mulai sejak aku membuka mata dan terjaga, hingga ketika langit menjelang kelam. Birumu selalu menggugahku.

Menarikku...

Mengikatku...

Dan kau,

Dua tahun memang bukan waktu yang panjang agar aku bisa lebih dalam mengenalmu. Tak banyak lembaran kenangan yang bisa kita gali direntang waktu sependek itu.

Tapi dua tahun juga bukan waktu sesaat untuk mengakhiri kisah yang sesungguhnya belum pernah kita mulai. Rentang waktu yang sesungguhnya sanggup mematikan percikan api kerinduan yang tak disertai keinginan untuk terus hidup, membesar dan membakar.

Tak ada riak...

Tak ada gejolak...

Namun nyatanya api itu terus menyala, seperti matahari yang kau genggam. Menghangatkan birunya lautku, menghangatkan air yang menyelimuti kedalamanku ruang hatiku. Menggugah gerak di dasarku.

Dan kau katakan padaku tentang tempat kita berjumpa di cakrawala. Di bidang mana biruku dan birumu menyatu. Di garis mana mengaburkan batas antara langit dan laut biru, menghilangkan penyekat diantara kita. Seperti halnya ketika kau aku berjumpa di dimensi yang maya, kita menyatu hati.

Sejiwa...

Maka jika memang harus kita 'hanya' bisa bertemu di kebiruan cakrawala, maka jadilah. Karena dimana pun, biru kita akan selalu sama. Langit dan laut akan selalu bercengkrama.

*Blue Ocean*

Dear Blue Ocean

2005-07-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

Dearest Blue Ocean

after we talk this evening, I listening one of my fave song

* English Man in New York *

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun
Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run
If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the dayIt takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
"Be yourself no matter what they say"

Blue `I knew u have lots of problem lately but like that song "Be yourself no matter what that say "just be U , my blue ocean always stand up in any weather , Nothing in this world could change ur colours
tonight i open our digital diary" voala "found ur ancient email since 2 years ago
whewwww Time goes by we have been through so many things
silent moment speaks a thousand words
i never realised our feelings getting stronger to one another even we only meet in a horizon :)

*blue sky*

Diary of Blue Sky and Blue Ocean

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (2)

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (2)

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (1)

Senandung Laut dan Langit Biru (1)

JW Marriot

JW Marriot

satu rasa

rindu

I miss U

to you ......

its always you

tears

The beauty of our relationship...

Have we been thru that long?

a thousand kiss, a dream land

de moment you and me

unreachable :)

survival

The Song`s

demam

distance

Thanks God

Yes I do ...

beautifull poetry from internet bout togetheness

Do you ever miss me

Jika

meet me in horizon

Pray

Dream and dream

I always want u too, blue

all i want is you

de promised

Someday

If

i really miss you

Only You ...

our imagination

desire

" Hold on my heart "

a feeling to love

De Feeling

do you know...

A short note to the blue sky

cakrawala rindu

K e k a s i h

I miss you

missing you

Thank You ..........

You dont Have any reason to be jealous

Love is in the air...

Nyanyian pantai laut biru.

Membuka Diri...

Forever and ever ....

catatan utk blue ocean

sebuah catatan pagi:

sebuah catatan kerinduan

catatan kecil

tanpa judul

tentang kita

terimakasih

memory

jika

lonely

nyanyian rindu

Today's Thought...

Inginku...

our love

Im still me and You still You

Happy Birthday...

finally

andai

The promise..

Your last email and the reply from me :)

** I really Love you **

Ur Not a Stone ....

Always you...

Always ................

meet me in the horizon, midnite :)

What do you think...

I really Love you